My personal life and my professional have rarely been at odds as profoundly as in the last few weeks. At work I am busy making sure that our young team members feel safe enough to speak their minds. At home I am waiting for a knock on my door in the middle of the night.
It’s been a strange week. Usually when I come home I feel relaxed. But over the last few days I actually feel tense when I turn into my street. I watch the cars and the houses, to see if something is off. There’s a good reason for this: I wouldn’t be surprised if the police will break down my door any day now.
As I told you before, I have foster children that I take care of. But there’s trouble with one of them. He is a young man, born and raised in The Netherlands. But because his parents failed to register him when he was born and because he has had some run-ins with the law in the past, he is about to be deported. To a country he visited only a few times. He doesn’t even speak the language. All I want for him is a chance to live a normal life, with a steady job and perhaps even a family of his own. So I keep my eye out to see whether the police is watching my home, waiting to knock down my door and arrest him. It’s stressful.
How very different is life at the office. At Schuberg Philis the well-being of our people is paramount. Because we want young and talented people to join our teams we have to adopt a modern mindset. Our heritage might be a culture of total honesty and crystal-clear feedback, but a new generation of talent insist that there are other ways. Since I am one of the mentors at Schuberg Philis, young people often kindly suggest a different approach. They explain that in order for them to thrive, they need to feel safe and secure. A culture of total honesty does not improve their confidence at all. Actually it’s quite the opposite: this generation wants to feel trust before taking a risk.
I have mixed feelings about this. I have seen firsthand how quickly a culture of honesty can turn into bullying. I firmly believe the olden days, in which the boss was not to be questioned, are well and truly over. People should feel safe and secure in any organization. I’ve seen what happens in a toxic environment where the cockiest people are the most powerful. We absolutely do not want an organization in which people feel on edge or stressed. I’ve seen how ugly it can get.
But in all fairness, situations like that also have made me into the person I am today. Young, talented people want me and my colleagues to mentor them, precisely because we managed to overcome tough situations. They tell me they look up to self-confidence and resilience.
That’s exactly why I am reluctant to create an environment in which all scary or negative elements are removed. Not because I think that young people should accept toxic comments or bullying. Absolutely not! But I genuinely believe young people will grow if they stand up for what they believe in. Don’t you remember that moment in your life when you confronted your fears and reinvented yourself?
The last few weeks my mixed feelings about safety, security and standing up for what you believe in have been challenged during a project I’m working on. To analyze how people feel at Schuberg Philis we ask lots of questions to our team members. But lately we noticed we were missing certain sentiments, because people are reluctant to speak out. Not because there are signs things are horribly wrong at the office, but because the younger generation prefers to give feedback anonymously.
So, we designed an anonymous option in our survey/appraisal tool. It’s a survey tool that asks our team members questions about their well-being. Their answers are collected anonymously, so people feel comfortable to speak out. We still have to await the results, and I’m curious to find out if it will bring us insights that we had missed before. If it does, I’m happy.
I agree when some of my colleagues point out that this tool is not about creating anonymity, but about stimulating open conversations. I fully support this theory. I applaud any daring initiative that gets people to open up. I know how hard it can be.
To quote the American Buddhist Monk Pema Chödrön: ‘We don’t know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don’t know.’ We make estimated guesses based upon our own bias. That’s what makes things interesting, because it challenges us to look at our own beliefs and consider other options.
So yes, I’m biased and I am guessing when I say that when anonymity becomes a prerequisite for speaking up, this is bad. Because I feel that some things are so important, we should hold our heads up high and stand up for our principles. Even if it makes us uncomfortable or a little scared.
I’ll admit it, I’m a bit scared too. Having the police raid your home in the middle of the night is not a fun prospect. They’ll search my stuff and look for my foster child. Now I don’t agree with sending a vulnerable young adult to a country he has never lived in. But I am also not looking forward that police raid. So: what do I do? It is in these times that I feel I have to put my money where my mouth is. If this is something I believe in, then I should stand up for it. No matter the consequences.
I’m not saying everyone should do what I’m willing to do. People make their own choices. There are situations where standing up for our principles shapes who we are and the way we interact with the world around us.
Yes, some things are scary. The possibility of a police raid made me realize I was no longer anonymous in my own street. Apparently, that was very important to me, even though I had never realized it before. So, I guess there was something to say for anonymity in our well-being questionnaire. But some things are worth being afraid for. I am convinced that making people feel safe and secure should not spill over into accommodating fear. Because removing all obstacles means taking away opportunities to grow.
So where will this end? I do not know. I’m curious about the results of our anonymous survey tool and I wonder if the police will come to search my home. I promise to keep you updated on both, in this blog, under my own name, for the world to see. And if you want to comment, please do so. Even anonymously if that feels better.
Lotta Croiset van Uchelen
