When I got divorced last year I decided to keep my ex-husbands name. My decision confused my parents, family and friends, who couldn’t quite understand why I didn’t want my maiden name back after all these years.
I decided to keep my marital name because names and words invoke strong emotions and associations. The name van Uchelen reflects the bond I have with two of the most special women I have met through my marriage: my mother-in-law and my aunt Carla, whom I loved dearly. They are Van Uchelen and so am I. We used to tell each other when they were still alive how comforting it is to have the same name. It indicated our shared background and suggested a shared heritage. A family bond that cannot be broken. Our name made explicit the deep connection we felt. I was not going to give that up simply because my marriage had ended. Even though I knew this decision hurt my father.
Words are extremely powerful. Well-written words stir in us the strongest emotions. They can make us laugh or weep, they can inspire and persuade. Wars have been started over words, as have great loves. It was Shakespeare who first wrote the words ‘What’s in a name?’ in that quintessential love story Romeo & Juliet.
Now no company-wide email is a Shakespearean effort, but even in everyday communications I feel the power of words. Some words are at the core of Schuberg Philis’ DNA. Since day 1 Schuberg Philis has used the word ‘colleague’ to refer to all team members. We never use ‘employee’. Ever.
This has been a conscious decision of the founders of Schuberg Philis and I believe it has been a huge factor in our success. This word alone is a big factor in why the Harvard Business Review made Schuberg Philis a business case. Countless businesses, startups and entrepreneurs have asked us how we built this unique company culture of responsibility and freedom. Our answer is always the same: it’s colleague, never employee.
To some the difference between those two words is not immediately clear. Not everyone picks up on the implied meaning of words. After all, some people are better with numbers than they are with words. Some are better with abstract ideas, other are more inclined to deep thinking. Some people see the intricate beauty of well-written code, but the deep-seeded meaning of words can elude them. This is, of course, perfectly fine.
However, I am sure that on a deeper level everyone feels a slight discomfort if someone refers to them constantly as ‘employee.’
The difference is this: the word ‘employee’ mercilessly indicates a hierarchical relationship, whereas colleagues strive to connect on the basis that everyone is of equal value. The word ‘employee’ suggests an organization of bosses and staff. Employees ask permission and do what they are told, while colleagues take initiative and responsibility. Employees are often frustrated with the higher-ups because they feel powerless to start an open discussion. Colleagues feel free to speak their minds. If you’re referred to as an employee again and again, you’ll start behaving as one.
The word ‘colleague’ has an entirely different set of connotations. ‘Colleague’ has the implied and explicit meaning of being of equal value to any other person in the organization. A colleague is a trusted team member, someone you work together with towards a shared goal. You ask a colleague for help, because there is a mutual trust and respect. Colleagues actually want you to speak up and they’ll listen when you have something to say, which is nice to know for the introverts among us. Colleagues work towards progress, together.
To some this might seem abstract or overly specific. But try and do this little test: say both words out loud. I hope this will help you understand the different meaning of both words. I’ve given more than a hundred presentations on this matter and it’s my experience that people intuitively understand when they say the words out loud.
Schuberg Philis is growing rapidly and my role has changed. With 5–20 new colleagues onboarding every month, it is impossible for me to explain the importance of words to all my new colleagues. So inevitably, every now and then I’ll see an email that uses the word ‘employee.’ And even now I can’t let it go. I just have to correct it. I know software engineers feel the same whenever they find sloppy insecure code. It’s the same for network engineers who can’t stand messy cables under a desk or DevOps engineers who get frustrated whenever proper documentation is missing during their EOD. They have to organize it, because it’s just not right.
I feel connected to the word ‘colleague’ for the same reasons I decided to keep the name of these very special to me women after my divorce. These words embody the people I feel connected to. They reflect my values. And they give me a sense of belonging. To me that is what’s in a name.
Lotta Croiset van Uchelen Feberwee
